What if you take it easy on yourself?
Welcome to the first Inbox Inhale!
I want to start by saying thank you for trusting me with your inbox because I know it can be a source of noise, countless choices and "to-dos." My hope is to create some space instead of take it.
This picture is one I took from a hike years ago. For some reason I slowed down and looked up - and the sight caused me to stop and gasp. I heard myself let out my breath slowly and quietly say, "wooooow." Have you had moments like that? Where beauty or wonder literally stops you in your tracks?
I quickly snapped a picture on my phone because I always wanted to remember this big, expansive and beautiful perspective. I think that's what beauty, wonder, and nature can offer us. A bigger perspective like these tall, shimmering trees whispering the truth that we are small. A small part that is connected to the whole and is sustained by the sun and the rain, and strengthened by our shared roots. Gazing at these bright leaves against the sky, I couldn't help but know that in the same way these trees are uniquely cared for and connected; so are we. We can let out our breath.
And that's what I feel like I've needed coming into 2022. Some nutrients and care and the space to let out my breath. I don't think I realized how much I was holding it last year...but it was a hard one. It felt like a never-ending roller coaster that I was ready to get off!
It reminds me of how I felt driving a stick shift for the first time. I was in high school and wanted nothing more than to impress my boyfriend (yep he’s my husband today) with my smooth and controlled ability to drive his car. But instead, he witnessed me lurch forward, stall out, start over and then have a mini panic attack when we got stopped on a hill. I would tell him, “don’t worry, I’ve got this.” And with great maturity I would proceed to close my eyes, say a prayer and begin shifting, hoping the car would cooperate and we’d end at the top of the hill instead of the bottom. I’d say my strategy worked most of the time - the eyes closed really seemed to help;) But In the end, I did learn how to drive and somehow we made it to Taco Bell (which if this is a metaphor for life, you better believe I'm expecting Taco Bell in heaven, anyone else?)
And that my friends is what I think the year of 2021 looked like....
A roller coaster ride of openings and then shut downs. Partial openings and partial shut downs. A lurch forward and then stalling out. Beginnings and cancellations. Gatherings and closings. Celebration and loss.
So how are you doing?
I think the dualistic part of my mind has really wanted to label the year as “good” or “bad” so I can have closure, pinpoint where I could set better goals and find solutions that help me to move on.
And where yes, I think this could help some…what I think would help more is to simply see the journey for what it was. That there were highs, lows and all the in betweens and the ride has left my nervous system tired and worn out from whiplash.
Could this be true of all of us?
Could this explain why we feel well-traveled, worn out and maybe a little jaded heading into this year? Our bodies, minds and hearts have been through a lot. And why would we carve out time to make plans and resolutions when so many of our plans went sideways last year? But instead of calling our skepticism or lack of energy bad, what if it’s ok to simply start this year different?
What if it’s not that we are more skeptical but that we have grown in wisdom. We can see that we’ve never really had control of the future, so holding plans loosely is wise. It opens us to live flexibly and allow for space. Space to pivot towards something new. For God's Spirit to move us. To encounter spontaneous joy. To scale back and see the gifts right in front of you - like the normal rhythm of your life and your closest relationships.
I think that’s all I needed. A more spacious way to start the new year and without skipping a beat heard myself humming …“go easy on me, baby…”
And that’s what I want. Yes. To be Adele when I grow up but also...
To just go easy on me.
Go easy on the expectations, the plans, the shoulds. On evaluating how I managed the lows of last year and what I could do better and differently moving forward.
While I believe self-awareness and evaluation are helpful and necessary tools, it’s also helpful to see the story as a whole. What if we let the year speak before feeling pressured to attach labels?
Can we listen with the softness of compassion instead of the constriction of judgement?
Can we allow ourselves to take it easy. Acknowledge where we feel weary or worn down - and say yes to the nutrients that we sometimes skip....like puppy snuggles, naps, nature walks or watching the show that makes us laugh.
And with gentle listening, may we hear Love whisper all the ways that we have grown and in the quiet, may we begin to notice where we are being invited to step next.
TO CONSIDER:
What would help you go easy on yourself…and ease into 2022?
Maybe some compassion? Gratitude? Permission to pick your own pace? Or to trust…forgive…play…rest…or ask for help?
TO TRY: Here's a little list of a few things that have helped me:
Gratitude. When I felt foggy-headed and slow to start, I found writing a list of all that I was thankful for really helpful. While still holding space for the pain, the struggle and loss, it allowed me to see what have instead of what I’m lacking.
Since I’m a visual person, I pulled up google photos and scrolled through all our pictures from the last year. As I looked, I jotted down what I was grateful for. It was simple but it helped me to see what I learned, how I grew and what I received.A new guide. While perusing instagram in a very productive way….I stumbled upon Aundi Kolber’s, “Let’s try Softer into 2022” guide. I wasn’t intending to fill out any guide this year, but this felt like the perfect invitation. It was gentle and helped me find a softer start. If you are interested, I’d love to work through it with you. Just hit reply and let me know.
Always yoga. As I encountered the roller coaster of last year, and stepped into the newness of 2022 - I found yoga to be a safe space where I could integrate my mind, body and heart.
Sometimes I get stuck up in my head, or roadblocked by an emotion. Yoga allows me to access all my ways of knowing - and move me towards knowing God and myself more holistically.If you’d like a more embodied approach to softly gazing back and looking forward, come join me for this new Zoom yoga series.
It will start one week from today (January 21st) and go for 5 weeks. (Meeting on Fridays, 615a for 35 minutes)
You all. Thank you for reading and yoga-ing with me this past year. This community came up in my time of gratitude because flowing and growing with you is one of my greatest delights.
TO RECEIVE:
May you ease into 2022 with some music. Here's a playlist I put together...
And if you begin to feel ashamed of all the emotions that last year stirred up and find yourself trying to repress, deny or outrun them....I want to share some words that helped me to accept the humanness of our emotions. The quote is from Desmond Tutu from a conversation he had with the Dali Lama in the "The Book of Joy"
While talking about the causes of stress in our modern life he says,
"When we have a clear picture about our own capacity, we can be realistic about our effort....
Perhaps the belief that more is better might be a recipe for stress and frustration and ultimately dissatisfaction.
_________
"Basically, I think we've got to accept ourselves as we are.
And hope to grow in knowing the things that trigger us. These are things that you can train, you can change, but we ought not to be ashamed of ourselves.
We are human, and sometimes it is a good thing that we recognize we have human emotions."
May you go easy on yourself for being human.
Allow space for your emotions to surface, and then release them with compassion.
May you believe that you are enough,
And may you encounter joy like a spring, rising up from within you.
Blessings of delight and grace,
Devany