The power of welcome…

Welcome to an Inbox Inhale where I'll invite you to feel into the word,

Welcome.

And offer you a treasure I found hidden within the old story of Advent. Sparkling new, it's invited me to enter this Advent season differently. Perhaps it might offer you the same?

I discovered this treasure a few nights ago as I sat with my Scripture Circle, (a group that gathers to study in the rabbinic style, and if that at all interests you, I encourage you to check it out!) We've decided to participate in Jan Richardson's online advent retreat this year (also worth checking out), and as we went around the group to share our reflections, one of my friends quietly said, almost as if to herself, “Yeah, welcome is one of my favorite words.”

It wasn’t even the main point of what she was saying, but I couldn’t move past it. Of all the words to choose from in the English language - what does it mean for the word, welcome to be a favorite?

I couldn’t help but nod my head in agreement and I haven't stopped pondering this word for the past few days.

To welcome someone. Or some moment Or even a season...feels inviting.

Like holding open arms.
Gathering in.
A sense of Inclusion
A sense that you desire who or what is coming into your space. Your life.

Being the word-nerd that I am, I looked it up as soon as I got home later that night, (along with the idea of enneagram tritypes- which was equally fascinating!) And in Old English, welcome means "desired guest."

With time, the definition has further developed into…“a person whose coming is desired or pleasing.” Or, "one whose coming suits another's will or wish."

As we say welcome - it’s like we are saying,

“You are a desired guest here.”
“Your coming here, is pleasing to me.”
"Your presence suits my will. My wish."

And man, can I feel this in my body.

I can feel it when someone truly welcomes me. Maybe you know it, too. They'll open the door or turn towards you as you enter a room - and with a smile or reaching arms wide will say, “Welcome.” And the feeling of how pleased they are with your presence seems to reverberate through your entire body.

This desire to be known and delighted in, runs deep in each of us. I think we know it's true because of how painful it feels when we aren't welcomed.

It hurts when someone says “welcome,” but you see the wariness in their eyes and feel the heavy conditions they've attached to the word. You know what they're really saying is, "you are welcome IF..."
- you say the right thing.
- fit the right mold.
- align your beliefs with theirs.
- or make it comfortable for the rest of the room.

This sense of conditional acceptance causes you to shut down the truest, most precious parts of yourself, as a way to stay protected.

But when someone receives you as a desired guest and wants to see you as you truly are…welcoming all of you - without conditions - this is a powerful gift. It’s one that we can both give and receive.

And it’s within this type of welcoming presence that we can experience the safety to grow.

An unconditioned welcome seems to offer us a container in which we can soften into being known, and become a more fuller version of ourselves. A version that reflects the image of and is fueled by God’s love.

I recently recorded a yoga class to invite you into a felt-sense of being known & loved.

A 35 minute yoga flow that offers you space to feel connected to yourself and known in God. Because as Thomas Merton says,

“There is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace, my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him.”

As much as it’s a gift to be welcomed as our true selves, I think the same can be true for our lives.

How do we greet our days? Our circumstances? Our moments - with whatever they bring?

To be honest, I wake up most mornings with a plan to “make it a good day.” We’ve been conditioned to believe that if something isn't working, we must work harder to make it better. And while I believe in the power of our effort, what happens when this formula stops working?

When no matter how hard we try, our circumstances don't change? What then?

I know we have the power and desire to do good in the world- and our will has been planted and stoked by the same Divine Love that moves creation forward with us. But I sure can get caught up in my efforts to make things better, and I miss what’s already been made. My busyness clouds my vision to see how my reality has been formed in the same way that I have.

It’s not a huge shift - but a slight one. Instead of believing that I’m the only one who is making things happen - what if I actively participate with what's already present?

What if I try welcoming amidst all of my trying?

It doesn't mean I fall into passivity. It’s like in yoga, when you hold a posture with effort, and at the same time welcome breath to sustain you.

What if welcoming means we take in what is actually happening, like we take in a breath. The focus is not judging it, but receiving it.

I can feel this tension most often in mothering my kids.

I get very caught up in my efforts to try and form them, and just this morning I heard myself say, “you are welcome to eat your breakfast, if you have good manners.”

Of course my will for my children is needed and good but it tends to be what I focus on more. What if there is also an invitation to welcome them in the true meaning of the word.

To take in their presence as I would a deep breath and receive them as desired guests in my life, while also trying to form them well.

I asked my daughter to put down her knees while she ate bright, red strawberry jelly over her favorite pink leggings, and in the same moment, I couldn't help but notice her. I saw her blue eyes sparkle as she pretended to feed her pink-baby-Christmas-deer rasberries, (who you can see, is adorably and hilariously dressed in a glittery green tutu.)

While yes, it’s good that I help form her manners, it’s also good to receive her true presence. I felt her embodied wonder transforming me. Reminding me what it's like to see the world shimmer like I did when I was a child. With a smile, I couldn't help but feed “Rosie Winter” the Christmas deer some oatmeal, and feel grateful for the gift of my daughter’s presence. What if I became more conscious of welcoming her as I mother her?

It seems so slight, but I wonder if Presence is what really transforms us?

What might happen if we press pause on focusing on all that we are trying to do and receive the right-here-ness of our life - without conditions, if just for a few moments?

Is this what it means to welcome?

It makes me think of this poem I’ve been camped out with for weeks by David Wagoner. He writes,

“Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.”

**How does the powerful stranger of Here - want to be known?**

It's not asking what needs to be done…which I still believe is important question because somehow our will and God’s will co-create in a mysterious alchemy that helps move creation forward....

But how might we welcome what's right Here? Even when Here is hard? Or disorienting. Or we feel like we are a stranger in places that once felt familiar. Or we’re weary. This is how many of us described our lives as we gathered to welcome the season of Advent.

And all I could think about was Mary.

I found this stunning icon in Nadia Bolz-Weber's sermon.

How she was living her every-day life when suddenly a powerful stranger swept in, unannounced, right into the middle of her here-and-now.

As the angel Gabriel appeared before her - it was beyond anything she could have tried to make happen for herself. Glowing and hovering in the room - this stranger had something for her to know.

And the new treasure I discovered for the first time, in this old story, was Mary’s response.

For the first time, I heard how human she is. And I love her for it. She's scared. She resists. She even argues - saying there is NO WAY that what this stranger brings will work out.

And yet when he speaks her name - something shifts within her. I imagine she can trust the sound of her name and the feeling of being known. And she responds with words of welcome, saying, "let it be so." We watch her say yes to the strange circumstances of her life, that she might know God and be known.

What's most powerful to me - is the trust of her welcome. She had no clue what would happen next, yet this sense of being known seemed to help her say yes. And we know that this powerful stranger transformed her life.

What if we were to step into the story of our own life and welcome the powerful stranger of Here, like Mary did?

Maybe you’ve rejected your circumstances at first, like I know I have in this present season…but what if for a moment, instead of trying to label - judge - change or fix it…we were to try on a posture of welcoming?

TO TRY:

Perhaps, you pause now. And take a deep breath in. And as you exhale.... silently offer the world welcome. Try this 3 times, slowly...right where you sit.

And on the 3rd breath - Could you welcome the Presence of whatever powerful stranger is Here? Be it unraveling. Weariness. Confusion. Peace. Hope. And then, if you’d like…. consider these questions....

How would you name the stranger of Here?

What might this powerful stranger want you to know?

How might its Presence change you?

Blessings my friends, of knowing and being known.

In a season that marks Christ coming to be within us, and among us, may you feel the presence of Incarnate Love with you.
~Devany

PS - I've loved hearing from you, and would love to know what you are welcoming this season. If you'd like to share, please hit reply. Like for reals!

PPS - I've missed flowing with you, and will offer a Welcoming Advent yoga flow on Zoom on December 14th. I'd love to begin our morning together.

And a few other yoga Advent opportunities:

My friend through Anam Cara, Commune Soul Care, is offering a zoom Advent yoga series. Elizabeth holds contemplative, peaceful space and I'd love for you to come and try with me: Mondays at 8pm and Wednesdays at 10:30am MST.

Living Soul Institute is also on zoom: Mondays at 12p MST Advent Yoga Series

And one of my favorites, and something wonderfully different,

Embodied Advent: with my friend Annalise who offers spiritual direction that moves you. Come experience an Embodied Faith Advent class, totally FREE on zoom: Sunday, December 11, from 7:00-8:15 pm EST.